Nat Locke: Vandalizing my dog ​​can be expensive, but it’s worth every penny

At our little dog park, we frequently discuss the tax damages our beloved pets are causing us. Like Evie, an adorable Australian Shepherd who ate thousands of dollars worth of baseboards. She literally chewed them.

And you’re probably thinking, “That’s good, insurance will cover it” and all the insurance companies laughed and laughed. Because if you check your policy, it will politely tell you that damage caused by your own pet is not covered. And it’s hard to argue that a strange dog broke in and chewed on your baseboards while your dog has sawdust on his lips.

Evie is not the only culprit, however. And so, as a service to people who might be considering buying an adorable puppy, I would kindly like to demonstrate that the highest cost of getting a dog may not be the purchase price or the cost of veterinary.

Here are the things my own lovely dog ​​destroyed in his nine and a half years:

1. Each exterior door. Not, as you might suspect, trying to get in. No, a trainer recommended locking him up while I was at work to reduce his anxiety, and then he chewed and scratched every door that led outside. These were once beautiful cedar and glass doors, but now have extensive damage to the lower frames.

2. An interior door. See, turns out he really likes hanging out in the front room waiting for me to come home. But he also really likes to mess up the extra bed while he’s in it. In the winter, that equals muddy footprints all over the bedding, so I tried to close that door and, in retaliation, he ate it.

3. The garden. My amazing neighbor planted a whole bunch of plants in the garden bed that runs along my backyard fence. Lewis systematically unearthed each of them. In some places it dug down to the ground, exposing the entire retic system. This obviously created a big pile of dirt, which then got ruined. . .

4. The lawn. Turns out the lawn doesn’t grow particularly well when it’s hidden under a big pile of dirt.

5. The fence. What started out as a beautiful limestone and wooden palisade is now something of a Frankenstein’s arrangement, as Lewis got into the habit of jumping over it. An extra trellis foot had to be added on top, as it had too much adventure in the neighborhood. He then concentrated his efforts on eating through the wooden stakes – no small effort, I must point out. His persistence eventually led to him lifting two pickets from the fence, allowing another escape, during which he jumped four lanes of traffic to visit his friends at his favorite cafe. To nip this loophole in the bud, there are now corrugated iron panels preventing him from accessing the wooden stakes. Attractive? No. Efficient ? So far, although there are already teeth marks.

6. Floorboards. Not all of them, thankfully, but there’s a significant area where the very long hallway meets the living room that Lewis used as a jumping off point to hop on the couch across the room if he gets excited about something. And he’s often excited about something. Maybe it’s because we’re leaving for the park, or because there’s someone at the door, or because they just remembered how awesome I am, but the party always jumps out of the way. door to the couch and the floor was absolutely sculpted by her fingernails. Those boards lasted a hundred and fourteen years, but they’re no match for nine years with a bearded collie.

Of course, there’s more: I’ve lost a LOT of shoes to his sharp puppy teeth, for starters. Add to that training, dog walking, Prozac (for him, not me), vacuum cleaners giving up under the sheer stress of a super hairy dog, a potted philodendron that most likely got caught in its tail , and the regular grooming and owning of a dog becomes an expensive exercise.

But I’m happy to say that I got what I paid for. There’s the sheer joy with which he greets me, whether I’ve been in the store for 10 minutes or gone for two weeks. There are the mornings when he climbs on the bed to rub his sleeping belly. And there are the perfect comedy moments where he puts a smile on everyone’s face. Worth every penny.

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