Devin Booker, You Shouldn’t Be Alone Tonight: Part 2

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Phoenix Suns star Devin Booker and Kendall Jenner reportedly split Again, months after the separation in June to patch things up in July. This, their second breakup, reportedly took place very quietly last month, though Jenner still dedicated a romantic Instagram birthday post to Booker on Oct. 30.

Monday, a source Told People (which brought in a lot of news like this lately): “Both have incredibly busy schedules right now with their careers and have decided to make it a priority.” Another source told the magazine, “They have a lot of love and respect for each other and only want the best.” Another anonymous “insider” offered more details, saying the decision to end their nearly three-year romance was “mutual and just came down to timing”, and that the two “plan to stay in touch”.

As Laura Bassett from Jezebel said in Jezebel’s first cycle of in-memoriam coverage dedicated to the separation of the couple in June:

Everything seemed so perfect. The couple started out as friends. They took a road trip together to Sedona in his Mercedes-Benz Maybach in 2020, the peak of the pandemic, for “some much-needed air” – always as “friends”. They made the romance official at some point after that, which led to Kendall wearing Devin’s Olympic gold medal on a boat on a lake somewhere looking extremely hot in a bikini. Super relatable all around.

At the time, sources attributed the split to Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker’s May wedding and the wake-up calls it sparked for Jenner and Booker. Whatever these “achievements” were, they didn’t keep the duo apart for long; within weeks, they were once again featuring heavily on each other’s Instagram stories, lazily vacationing in hawaii during Booker’s offseason, burying all memories of the Suns-Mavericks Game 7 outcome on May 15, 2022.

Now I could lie and pretend to be saddened by this news. But that wouldn’t be very honest journalism. I always imagined Devin Booker with… someone else. A writer-type. A more prolific and live tweeter. Someone who could naturally take on the role of the sweet and loving stepmother to Booker’s cane corso Haven – maybe a mother dog herself. Someone who shares his appreciation for this country’s last great staples, like, say, Applebee’s or Hooters, which is said to be tastier “with the friends.” A woman of impeccable loyalty, a woman who might generally find Mr. Luka Dončić very agreeable, but who would excite and harass him into oblivion at a word from Booker’s soft lips. A woman who finds Booker equally pleasant in victory as in defeat.

A woman… like me.

Now I wish Kendall Jenner all the best – maybe she could slip into the DMs of her recently single ex Harry Styles?—but she had her chance with Booker. She had three years to convince her billionaire sisters to buy the Dallas Mavericks, destroy and sell the team for parts. She was three years old Tweeter without context, “I’m thinking about mermaids tonight with the guys.” Now it’s time for another slightly shorter, slightly leaner, and much more unbalanced woman to shine.

Devin Booker, again: You shouldn’t be alone tonight.

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